how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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