Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
