can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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