but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
