My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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