I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
