I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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