So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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