I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
