just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize