OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Two words: blizzard sex
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
