That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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