If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
