Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
