i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
