dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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