I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
