i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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