we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My ass is underappreciated
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
