drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
