I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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