you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
