I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
