What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
