I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
