i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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