so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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