She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
