no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
