Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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