I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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