I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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