I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
