I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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