his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
