He uses pillows to masturbate.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
