How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize