you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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