It's like God shit irony all over that family
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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