I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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