If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
