Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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