Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
