Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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