why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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