Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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