Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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