covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
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Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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