So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
