the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You smell like stripper and shame
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
