I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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