I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize