You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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