How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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