so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
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Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
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I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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