I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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