My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
