She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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