as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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