Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
