It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
