Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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