Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
