I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
