if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
