You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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