She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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