hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
