Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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