We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
