If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
