I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
