Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
