The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
